Consultant

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL tie-leans out the window and asks the shepherd, “If
I
tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give
me
one?”

The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, “Sure. Why not?”

The young man parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet,
where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix
on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans
the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports
it to an
image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has
been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database
through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex
formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry
and,
after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi- tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and
says, “You have exactly 1,586 sheep.” “That’s right. Well, I guess you
can take one of my sheep,” says the shepherd. He watches the young man
select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs
it
into the trunk of his car.

Then the shepherd says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you
exactly
what your business is, will you give him back to me?”

The young man thinks
about it for a second and then says, Okay, why not?”

“You’re a consultant,” says the shepherd.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the young man”, but how did you guess
that?”

“No guessing required”, answered the shepherd.

“You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid
for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you
don’t
know a thing about my business.

“Now give me back my dog.”